Film Review: 2002’s Blade II

Blade 2 Front

The vampire nation is at its wit’s end about what to do with its own vampire infestation… so, naturally, they call in the best person they know at killing them. But is everything what it seems?

This movie is a sequel. There’s no getting around that fact. The beginning of the movie is spent rewinding past the bad parts of the original. The vampires have vampires. There is even “something worse than you”. Yeah, wake me up when there’s something original.

Of course there’s something original. M. Night Shyamalan would be proud. In the words of a well-known Sci-Fi postmaster named Kevin, “brown paper and triple-twist twine are the preferred media…”. Blade II isn’t necessarily brown paper, per se, but this was the type of idea they had in mind. There’s a shocking twist! Then, another shocking twist! Then, just to even it out, the second twist has its own shocking twist! Add this to the twist opening, and you’ve got a fuckin’ Twizzler.

The effects are so-so. While a couple of the disintegrations are impressive, most of them just look like overkill. It seems as if they’re trying to impress us by adding extra light, extra flare, so that the same old vampire death scenes seem somehow more exciting… and it fails. The gore is less realistic, and less interesting too. I never get the yellow-green blood they try to give creatures to make them seem inhuman – it works so well that the scenes that should be gory and impressive are anything but. And I would think something that drinks human/vampire blood would have red blood, anyway.

Nomak impressed me at times, however. When you see the other Reapers following him, he really sets himself apart as their superior. While he often comes off as ridiculous, seemingly seeking Blade out and then repeating the same tired old line about how they’re on the same side, he also distinguishes himself as perhaps the only equal opponent Blade has ever had, short of invoking ancient rites to become more powerful.

Now that I’ve gotten my more defined statements out of the way, it’s time for a few brief rants and comments. How the hell was Blade, the infamous daywalker whose silent appearance can stop a rave, not noticed at all in the House of Pain? How do people feel “vampiers are difrent from ppl lets make them difrent from vampiers” is a good story? What the fuck is up with Scud and the Powerpuff Girls?!

One thing I have to give props for is the fact that Nyssa died, unlike the doctor from Blade. This time, there’s an excuse for there to be no recollection of her existence in the next movie.

So, Blade II was decent. There was some action, some good fights, all the shit you have to have when Blade comes around. There are too many twists for any of them to really be any good (except for the opening, which has to be good if people are going to buy the movie). It’s probably worth watching, though I fail to see how anyone can see it as better than the first.

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